


That Bad memory

by naeggimom



Category: Super Danganronpa Another 2 ~ The Moon of Hope and Sun of Despair ~
Genre: Afterlife, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Everyone hates Mikado Sannoji: The fanfiction, M/M, Murder, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, PLEASE THE POOR SPACE BOY HAS GONE THROUGH ENOUGHHHH, SDRA2 Chapter 1 Spoilers, Swearing, dont yell at me for liking this ship pwease, fuck im bad at adding tags jgjkfgnjgkfnf, hajime has to really be both horny and feel bad for yuri lmao, mentions of abduction, mentions of sex?? its not that big or explicit at all so not rlly, why do these boys keep cursing in my family friendly pg clean household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 12:28:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naeggimom/pseuds/naeggimom
Summary: "If it was possible to reverse time... if I... was stronger...What would I do to fix this?""..."{Hajime's point of view}





	That Bad memory

_So when the hell did this all start? It pains me to tell the story of the bastard who ruined my life. Yeah, I know who you fucking are. That clown who thought it was a good idea to play his little prank and decide to send me to Hell instead of going by what we had planned. "I'm going to survive and escape from this shitty island.", why exactly? Because I was POSITIVE that I was going to do just that after I killed that one annoying little bitch._

_Yeah. I sure do love it when you rub your hatred of men and gratitude for women in everyone's face when nobody cares about your existence. NOBODY showed any tears or remorse when you died. Sure, oh, SURE, there were some "good" things about you that I thought about every so often, but that didn't make me like you as a classmate. Someone had to fucking die, and you were the only choice._

_That's what I used to think. Until I started looking closely at your appearance. Listening to your deep voice playing in my memory. Your existence... Was it really meaningless to everyone? I glanced back at my blood clean hands that day I committed your murder. What I saw in my vision... was dirt. Compare that to me. No difference. At all. When I kept repeating the negative insults I yearned to shout out at you, I only found myself lying on the cold ground and wonder, "How the fuck do I get over this?" It's impossible for someone like you to accept the person who I am. This worthless piece of shitty garbage. Ignored. All because of the dream that you wanted to carry on. Me, the worst decision maker in all of history, looked at your blushing, drunk face and immediately started feeling like "You know what? Fuck love. This is my only chance."_

_Maybe just by seeing the state you were in I could've taken you back to my room and fucked you while you were passed out. Isn't killing your own crush just for survival that wasn't guaranteed in the first god damn place better than having sex with him? No. I would've ditched that wizard whore and gone the hard way through this killing game._

_If it was possible to reverse time... if I... was stronger... What would I do to fix this?_

_"..."_

"Hajime, hold still."

"W-what?" My movements stopped and a shiver was sent down my spine as the atmosphere of the unintelligible looking room had been filled with fear.

"Get over here right now whoever you are! Are you trying to scare me!?" I shouted as I looked in every direction, seeing nothing. I missed a sudden angle where a familiar figure was standing with a crooked smile on his face. "You fucking heard me, filthy male." Glancing straight toward the voice's body, I comprehended that the face that had risen up to mine was Yuri's, but his expression was not his usual insane countenance that he showed when talking about his abnormal sacrifice. His grin stretched out toward the corners of his cheeks, the teeth resembling a vicious shark, his pupils were burning right through my head as they narrowed in size, why, he didn't even look human. I backed away cowardly the second my brain registered that something about Yuri was... incorrect. I wasn't expecting that when he mentioned that if a male succeeding in killing him, these somewhat "worst within the regulations" weren't as bad as I thought they would be. But after making eye contact at my own victim and being petrified without hearing any claim of what shit he might even attempt to do to me, I began to feel the prayers rush through head, begging God to not force me into this cruel looking punishment.

"Oh, you must be that pathetic after all." Yuri laughed with an innocent voice. "I really considered that you'd probably beat up someone smaller than your size immediately after seeing their threat. But I guess you're just not that good enough." I heard my heart crack for a moment. "S-Shut up!" I claimed with a bark. "It's not like all weak teenagers that look like 8 year olds are absolute psychopaths." Yuri doubted my words as he glared to the floor in a worried manner. He exhaled. "Then if I'm the only one in this world who your truly terrified of, I'll make you stay that way. **TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT PAIN IS AGAIN.** "

I took a big gasp of air as I sensed his remarks stab like a sword right through my chest. The suffering became real as he clutched onto my coat and pulled me closer. Almost touching Yuri's nose, there was a sudden pleasure in even getting him to talk to me... to insult me like I'm a degenerate... to have him touch me. I endeavored to bring my lips to his, but he grabbed my neck roughly and kept me positioned away from the kiss. "I know what you want to do, piece of shit. I'm not letting you control me like those other men did when I used to think that everyone in this society all mattered. Over this good for nothing... timeline of 17 years... I was **TORTURED, BEATEN, AND DEFILED. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOUR LOVE WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING TO SOMEONE LIKE ME.** "

Yuri's hand crawled for my nape, softly strangling it as he shook miserably, remembering the torment that was inflicted on him multiple times in such a short life span. He only ended up losing to the hell that ruined his happiness, bursting into tears as he lost his grip from my scruff. Yuri covered his eyes in shame. I didn't pay attention to ponder about the reason for the spaceman's strange actions to other boys that meant no harm to him... yet piecing everything all together... it started to make sense. "All my life no matter where the fuck I went, I'd always have greedy motherfuckers go after me just for my family's money!" The tears flooded down like a waterfall, and he fell to his knees in sorrow. I bent down and made an effort to cheer him up from his unexpected despair, yet, still not understanding my trust that I gifted him with, Yuri only wailed into the palm of his hands, blocking my kind words.

Silence was only heard in the emptiness for a few seconds. My arm slightly extended to stroke his sherbet colored hair for comfort, but finding that it wouldn't do any good, I resisted. Then, I was restored with a motivating thought as I clinged onto the hope that was waiting for both of us in a single absentminded imagination. "Yuri. Stop that. You and I are alone together, there's nothing to hurt you." I calmly evoked.

"You're the one that's going to hurt me, after you've destroyed my dream that was meant to be for beautiful lady. And you're the opposite of that." He whimpered as he opened his eyes. The direction I took to the wrong commitment made sense, my soul aching as I flashed back to when I observed Yuri's grisly corpse as it impacted the ground. Even if it did seem unbelievable, like I was just making childish excuses, I knew the truth had to be broke through. "It was all my fault for taking orders, yet, that Mikado jackass controlled me just to take one of my own peers life. All for the price of getting away from that... you know. Awful shit storm of an island." Yuri wasn't pleased by my apology. Sure, Mikado was a guy so it's already obvious that he has the same grudge as me, but the statement didn't change his view on my character. The honesty just went past his head.

"You really think I'm that easy to fool? **Are you that afraid of death, bitch?** " His aggressive attitude returned, the tears still remaining. "You let me die just because you thought that listening to the fucking mastermind was a suitable idea?" Small sweat drops dripped down my face in panic. "...I-I messed up, a-alright. You don't have to make everything such a big deal when speaking with either gender." Yuri had quickly become aware of the kind of person he was even communicating with.

"...Just leave already. There's nothing left to do in this darkness." He turned away rudely and refused to face back to me. Only walking in the open space, no destination for the journey that awaits him. " _ **Would it be reasonable to cry if your kidnappers were right by you and not me?**_ " I shouted to his ignorance. Yuri's unfamiliarity with my words concluded, his white starry eyes shooting back at me with a mere scowl. "No matter how many times this shit has even happened, I'd still rather be locked with my abductors for all eternity then with my own slayer."

"..." He was heartbroken by the inconvenience once again as I had nothing else to convince to him. "It's only... it's only... the two of us... nobody else is going to save us. This is God's punishment..."

" **M-maybe this was only my fault!** " Yuri bawled, trying to regain the ability to restrain from tearing up at the random moments. He reversed his trail and sprinted into my arms, embracing my body. There was still one part of my brain that wished to release unusual sexual desires... but then... the most important part is... the warmth Yuri gave me that made the guilt unbearable to bottle up for so long. The encouragements that transformed into petty arguments died down in the scene. But it's not right. Undergoing the sprouting flower that grew in the heart... urging to trample on it with human feet. Being in love with another man... with one that doesn't understand the purpose of equality... was it really meant to be? To go down THIS specific route? This has to be some stupid fucking dream. But, being exposed to the heat that I may never touch ever again, maybe I don't want to wake up in the real world anymore. Being alive, experiencing the hardship of going through my teenage years, as a normal human being that everyone just forgets exists as time goes by. Like everyone else, right?

"........."

"Yuri... would you want to kill me more if I said that I loved you?"

He didn't respond. Still holding onto me, while faintly moving his hand all around my back, his words were nothing but nonsense.

**Author's Note:**

> hooray!! my first fic on this account!! it took me a while to get this account set up since it wouldnt let me in the first time i registered gbjhfbhjbhjdb
> 
> this was inspired by something that happened yesterday that really decreased my mood and it was really difficult to get over for a while... so its kinda a vent fic. but i have to add my problematic otp because... well... it is worthy of some good angst (if they at least had more interactions) and its also a coping mechanism for me, so writing this really improved my mood! its pretty short... writing multiple chapters for this would be such a pain... since im horrible at ideas and since i have things to deal with like school and my mess of a discord server, i think ill save something like that for another fic. 
> 
> sorry if this kinda sounds dumb or out of character at some parts huuuu :// i havent actually written a serious fanfic in like... 2 years or smth. yuri is a really hard character to keep in character. but im still proud of how this came out!! soooo hope yall enjoyed my dumbass writing!! uwu
> 
> update 2/5/19: THIS HAS 200 HITS STOP READING THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS my ships are bad and i cant write ;;;;;;-----;;;;;;
> 
> update 6/23/19: ah fuck. now this is at 600 hits i cant believe youve done this   
> @ the whole fandom please beat me up im too problematic


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